a monday.doing nothing

“What happened to that business yaar?” A Tamil mixed English voice hit my ears.

No it doesn’t hurt. It’s the 756’th time it has hit.(I cared to count! Atleast that I should do for him).”Him” is my manager. He was placed in the cabin for all those wrong reasons. Same pinch sir!

It is the Monday morning, the worst for an Employee and the best for his boss. The day when your boss turns out to be a screwdriver and you turn out to be the screw (hit on water though!).And it is supposed to be screwed till Saturday. That’s the rule. Internationally accepted by the bosses and rejected by the reportees.

So , yes, the voice. It was for the “atleast one business” that my boss expected me to bring in. Yes, I’ve been fooling him since a couple of months. It was unintentional but, if I can use that word. As they say, my employer is “System driven”. (As if none other is!).If I am my boss’s screw, he is his boss’s. So,”System driven” means a series of Screwdrivers n screws, which keeps working all the time.

“Bring it in soon, today itself”

Sure Sir, (I am keeping that 25lakhs cheque in my under pocket. Will get it right away. WTF!), I promised him, and my face brimming with confidence.

And my duty, the same what a robber would do. Just a difference. The robber takes away things without the person’s knowledge, and I do the same with his knowledge. And that was “Product knowledge” as they taught me. It’s a sales job, Mr. Assistant manager. Yes it is, and balls to your rank.

December 4^th 2010.

WOW!! I am placed. Mom, I got a job. Now you stop working. Let the burden on my head. I am migrating to the working class. (“Stop showing off Son. U are just born” goes my mom’s mind).

“Happy days” If Garry Marshall excuses me, is the title I would give those days after I got the Job, till the farewell day. (Poor I, not knowing the title actually was “Dragging me to hell”).

Dear teachers were shocked “Oh! You are placed!” .I was like,”Why? You guys never wanted me to??”And I was happy. Hey listen, I worth it, and am beyond your expectations. (I think I do!)

Finance.

Was not me. I knew it when they taught me accounts, when my balance sheet answer papers never matched profit and loss, when my maths and accounts teachers hated me, when I opted math out in my MBA finals.(Yes I am supposed to be a Master of Business Administration, what they call an MBA)

And, my employer, the Financial Gaint! Wowie. Oxymoron!

Sorry Mom, Sorry Dear teachers .I was trapped.

Phone rings:

Hello this is <your name> from <your employer name> Sir,(That was the format, and we dare follow.)

It’s him, my boss.

Hello, Your Super boss wants to talk to you, turn the conference call ON. (Whoever told technology is a blessing, middles to you).

Hello. Yes Boss.

BOSS. No, he was not Rajnikanth. He was someone just ahead him. He was The Boss, The omnipotence, the Head.

“Yes Boss, Ya boss, Sure boss, OK boss.” Rhymed me, always when I was “concalled” (read  “thrown to“)him.

And the other end goes;”Whats happening there man? Why business is not happening? Why are people not convinced?(Better you ask them!).Take two cases by tomorrow evening, (Ha! I did not for a month, and how dumb u give me a day!) , or I will F^*% your happiness.(Happiness was not my wife. So I cared a damn). Meet me by tomorrow evening”. So I rhymed “Sure boss” that I was Sure I am meeting him the next evening.

Boss’s cabin

We give you so much freedom, and why can’t you bring in business?

You tie the bird in a cage, and u give it “freedom” to move inside, and you even expect the bird to love that? How mean are you sales people, sorry, we sales people.

I will do it boss.(As if he asked me to iron his shirt). 


It was the Saturday evening; Saturday, my love.

So I am relieved for a day, Sunday.

Sunday is a bitch. You start loving her and you find she just ditched you.

Sunday evening, you turn out this philosophical asking,” Is money is what it is all about? Do I really need this job. Or, why do I even work?” .No, You can never be blamed. The bitch plays her role. That is all.

So,

Monday has come. Finally.

Monday morning, my bed

Hey..Hey..get up man..Do you have any idea what the time is?, said my alarm and I kept snoozing him.

You wake up with this 34kg heart, and trust me it doesn comfy.

Fuck! Its 12.30 pm! and ..and it’s the  Monday. Gosh! What am I doing. Dumbass,wake up man.

It was a cold afternoon. What? Is this Chennai, the steam which added pressure to my cooker life?.

NO!

It wasn’t. I was not on my bed. It was some others. Now don’t get me wrong. But I really wasn’t.

 It was the first day of my search to find my real love, my passion, where I always wanted to be. And not in the pressure cooker. Wow!! I pinched myself thrice, and I had to believe it.

Hey alarm, my ass. Wake me up by 4.30 pm. Monday? What Monday. And who kept that bloody alarm.